10 years later...

So now it's 2020, and I'm stuck at home. As are many people around the world as we all try to avoid spreading the corona virus. It's been a bit over two weeks for me. I went home early on Monday, March 23rd. We didn't have any work and our production manager was telling us to go home under those circumstances. Earlier I had volunteered for temporary lay-off. Business is way slow and it was one of the strategies that Yoyodine had for surviving this crisis. (Yes, I'm still at Yoyodine. My low level of ambition hasn't changed.) Noddles is making more than I am and, between that and the savings, we can survive a financial hit. Our production manager, John Cousteau, said nothing would be decided until the end of the week. I didn't stop to think that he was only speaking of decisions at Yoyodine.

Monday afternoon, the governor issued his stay at home order. All non-essential businesses will close and they have 48 hours to comply. Oh, well. I emailed John Cousteau and asked him if I should bother coming either Tuesday or Wednesday. I didn't know what work had to get out or what they wanted us to do to shut things down. (I did know that I wanted to come in and fetch the book I was reading over lunch, but I digress...) He replied that Yoyodine was an essential business and would remain open, but I didn't need to come in. I read that as meaning he would prefer me to stay home, so I did. Weird. I gave him a call on Wednesday afternoon to see what he wanted me to do next. This time he officially told me to stay home. I was now laid off--well, I think he said "furloughed", since they want me back--but that Yoyodine still needed to set things up with the state unemployment office. He said he'd contact me with more details before the 1st.

So now I'm home all day. In considering finding new employment (Details on that in another post on another day), I realized that I should be doing some self improvement. I've worked on my html/css skills, started an exercise routine, and now I'm practicing my writing skills. Whether any of these small efforts will bear much fruit is unlikely. But it has to be better than playing another hand of solitaire.

Labels: change, current events, life, work, writing

An amazing thing is happening today--I have absolutely no outside obligations to attend to. I really don't know how this happened, but I'll gladly take it. Anyway, with the day stretching before me and all sorts of things on my to-do list, I chose to mess with our tree. One of the blessings of our little home is Seattle is the flowering cherry tree that has occupied a corner of our yard. It's provided beautiful blossoms in the spring, whispering leaves in the summer. For my wife, it's been a convenient stand for a birdfeeder; and for the kids, a canopy under which to play. But this past year, it's been obvious that its days are numbered. One of the three major branches has been dead, and a second has been drying up to create an early fall. So Noodles has decided to take down the old thing and replace it with a new tree.

Of course, this is one of those chores where Noodles has the idea but I end up providing the labor. That's not a bad thing, of course, because destruction is one of those things at which we men excel. (That line sounds sexist, doesn't it? Probably because it is.) So this morn I put on a pair of work gloves, took some yard tools and decided to poke at the tree. I didn't need the tools so much--most of the branches of the dead limb came off by hand. The only real difficulty was reaching the branches that hung over the fence. When I turned my attention to the second limb, I was only able to pull off a good third of the branches on my own. As I tried to disentangle them from the healthier branches, I couldn't help but wonder if we could have extended the life of the tree had we but did some pruning over the years. When it comes to yard care, I'm sure my farming forebears would hide their faces in shame if they saw what a lousy job I do of it. Anyhoo, for the rest of the second limb branches, I used the clippers. The third limb, the one that's still green and hangs over the slope, I left alone. It was time for lunch and I wasn't prepared to take the whole tree down today. Sure, that would be the most efficient use of my time and a rare free day, but why should I start being so practical? There will be other days in which to prune, plus I can then look forward to renting a chain saw and really having some testosteronal fun.

Of course, once the flush of mass destruction passes, I feel a bit melancholy over the tree. It was a nice little addition to the yard, and it'll be years before whatever sort of tree we might get will grow into a proper replacement. Assuming I don't kill that one first.

Labels: guy stuff, home, life, yardcare

I'm facing a dilemma this evening: Do I spend my own money to benefit my employer or not? The situation is that my boss, John Emdall, recently asked me to redesign the company's website. The current Yoyodyne site is a fancy-schmancy APX thing that's getting out of date. John Emdall wants a new site, not too complicated, but still nice looking. And cheap. He wants cheap. Hence his asking me, despite the fact that I have openly professed my limited skills. Anyhoo, he had used a demo of the program Artisteer on his PC to make a nice looking page. I brought the html and attendant documents over to my Mac and started messing with it. I was able to figure out enough of Adobe Dreamweaver to add some graphics, alter the menus, and plug our online ordering site into a window. Pleased with myself, I submitted the template page for his review.

A few hours later, John Emdall informed me that Internet Explorer had taken it upon itself not to display the graphics. Actually, what he said was more along the lines of, "It's not working." It was left to me to discover what exactly was screwed up. Putting the blame on Explorer was pretty easy. Figuring out how to fix it has been a challenge. I spent a good chunk of yesterday figuring out how Artisteer created its page with CSS. I never did quite reach the point where I figured what items Explorer was ignoring and how to work around it. One thing I blame is my reference book, HTML 4 for the World Wide Web by Elizabeth Castro. It's a great book, but it's 2000 vintage, and I wonder if it's not a trifle too old for what I need.

So, to come to my main point, I'm debating whether to go out and buy the most recent edition of Ms. Castro's book. I did a search and found that I could pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble for around thirty bucks. Much more than I like to spend on a book, but it might prove useful not only to my personal playing on the web, but also in my unofficial role as "web designer". On the other hand, since this would be primarily to benefit Yoyodyne, why should I be spending my own money? Might it not be wiser to present the boss with the decision to invest in the book, or better yet, hire someone whose competent?
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Update: Of course, the deciding factor was, which choice would allow me to browse in the bookstore? I managed to snag a copy of the book at Half Price Books for ten bucks.

Labels: books, computer, life, work

Just 31 days until National Write a Whole Honkin' Novel (Or At Least Try to Blog Every Day) Month. Me, I don't think I'll wait that long. I've felt the blog muse stirring in the depths of my... well, not soul, really. Maybe more like a pancreas. Anyway, I thought I might make an attempt to blog every day in October--just to see if I still can. I'll probably cheat and count posts to the book review blog as sufficient fulfillments to the daily requirement, but I do promise that I won't start counting Twitter tweets, even if they are funny.

So anyway, what to write? Over the past few weeks, I've noticed items that I might have been able to stretch into blog posts. Tonight, however, the only thoughts that fill my mind are things I should be doing besides frittering away free time blogging. I should be doing my October tithing. I could also get some work done towards preparing the next Bible study. (I'm going with Jonah this time around, since I already have a commentary on the shelf.) I should finish clearing the junk off the typewriter table, so I can get rid of it. I could enter some genealogy info into Gene. And then there's all the book reviews that are outstanding--at least eight. But there's plenty of time for that... I mean, October's a long month.

Labels: blogging, church, life, rambling

So the big day has come and gone. The dawning of the Age of Obama. I wanted to soak in all the inaugural pageantry, but, alas, I had to work. John Silver did have the coverage streaming onto his computer. Looking across the room, I was able to observe the swearing in. But then J.S. shut down the feed and we got back to business. (He later said that he had wanted to catch the inaugural speech, but got flustered because the boss and our business manager came in to watch the oath over his shoulder.) My plan was to later download the speech at work and then watch it in the comfort and privacy of my own home. Imagine my disappointment when I tried to do that yesterday afternoon. I found all sorts of sites that would stream the video to me, but a fat lot of good that would do me in the comfort and privacy of my own limited-to-dial-up home. I ended up having to settle for downloading the text and reading it.

So, is this what we are to expect from this new administration? Are the words of the 44th President of these United States meant only for the rich, for those who can afford either a fast internet connection or to take the morning off of work? (And don't go telling me that I could have set my VCR to tape it, because... well, I forgot to, darn it!) Is it too much to ask that somebody post a lousy little mpeg file in a place where one can find it? Hey, Mr. Commander-in-Chief, I want some change here! I voted for you, now I expect you to do something about it!

(Well, I suppose it would be okay if you closed down Guantanamo first. And ended the Iraq debacle. And jacked up the economy. And fixed some of those bridges. And maybe get that puppy housebroken. And...)

Labels: computers, life, silliness

...um, I forget. Anyway, I almost let December slip by without a post. Naughty me. I really would have posted, but December was so gosh darn busy, what with overtime and birthdays and Christmas and snowstorms and all. So now it's December 31st and I'd like to do a retrospective of 2008 but, a) I only have 44 minutes left and, b) my life in 2008 wasn't all that exciting, now was it? So I guess I'll just skip it. I will say that I survived the Great Northwest Blizzard of 2008 just fine. My Midwest upbringing paid off in that I was able to make it into work every day that there was snow on the ground. After about a week of that, I realized that while I was busy patting myself on the back for my superior winter driving skills, I was at work while those I looked down upon were enjoying a day or two off in the snow. Sometimes there is justice after all. Oh, well. At least I was getting paid.

Labels: life, winter

So Thanksgiving has come and ('tis almost) gone. I hope you had a happy one. Mine was okay. One downer was that I haven't been feeling to Thanksgivingly. I first noticed it last Friday. We were at a prayer meeting and for a prayer topic, our leader suggested we think about those thing in the past year for which we were exceptionally thankful. The problem was, I wasn't feeling exceptionally thankful. Sure, I had plenty for which to be thankful--a decent job, good health, a loving family, a big bag of dark chocolate M&Ms--but none of them were causing my heart to well up with thankfulness. Instead I seem to just be taking them all for granted. A very foolish attitude, I know. I think I'm subconsciously longing for some thrill, something novel in my life to distract me from the daily routine. Not a terrible rut to be stuck in, but a rut nonetheless. Anyway, I have no point to make with these ramblings, so I think I'll just stop here.

Labels: commentary, holiday, life, rambling

'Tis the season, again. Time to start working on the Christmas cards. We've been making our own for years. Coffee draws the picture, Noodles gathers quotes and writes original thoughts for the insides and I turn the whole thing into something we can photocopy, fold and mail out. Of course, we haven't done that for the past three years. In '05 and '06 we were in China and last year we sent out a family newsletter instead. But this year we're back to the basics. Sort of. Things have changed. In the past, we came up with an idea and asked little Coffee to draw us a picture. This year, I inquired about using a drawing she had already made. She politely declined, pointing out that said work was a charcoal drawing that had yet to be fixed. She didn't want it to get smudged on the scanner. She did offer, however, to sketch out a few variations on the theme and then render a final version of whatever sketch we liked. When did my kid grow up? When did the creative tyke become a commercial artist? Is this the little girl I carried? Is this... ahem. (Sorry. Sometimes my inner Tevye slips out.)

Getting the Christmas photos taken is another process that has changed. We started shooting out own Christmas pix before China, but it used to be I'd load up a 12 exposure roll of film, shoot all 12 frames, then rush down to Paradise Studios to get the film developed. Hoping, of course, that one of the shots were good enough to use. This year, I again shot a dozen pics. But I headed down the stairs rather than down the hill. I looked at the pictures on the laptop, found the photos a bit lacking, and then went and shot another handful. We went down to Bartell's for the processing (Paradise, alas, has gotten out of the photo processing business.) and were able to walk home with a big pile of prints, ready to mail out. Very nice. (Well, except that the digital prints are slightly inferior to the old C-41 prints.)

I wonder what surprises await me when I try to print out the actual cards. Of course, we still have a bit of work ahead of us before we find that out.

Labels: Christmas, family, life, nostalgia

Now yesterday was the day I missed posting. I was too busy up to the point where I got too tired. Sorry. As you might suspect, I won't be writing a novel this month, either.

I've added a new blog to the blogroll. It's a blog by a friend from high school, Dave. I definitely had mixed feelings when I heard he was going to blog. On the good side, Dave's funny and is a good writer. Plus he plays in a band, The Lennys, so he knows all sorts of lyrics to use as titles for his blog posts. The down side is that Dave started blogging to keep all of us informed about his batlle with Waldostein's Macroglubb..., er, Waldingstern's Macroglibbul..., no, um, Walgreen's Mac.... oh, grumpf! (cut) (paste) Waldenstrom's Macroglobulinemia. It's a blood cancer. It sucks.

Anyway, I doubt if both of you readers will actually follow Dave's blog, not knowing him and all, but this is what's on my mind so this is today's blog topic. Tune in tomorrow when I might talk about church politics, or visiting people in nursing homes, or Bollywood movies, or gathering stamps in my Library passport, or one of the many other little things that comprise my weekend.

Labels: blogging, life

Yes, another day of working overtime and watching Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham.... I felt cheated--Anjali takes a minor role in the second half of the film, but even then she is much more enticing than her half dressed sister. Um... don't tell my wife I said that.

Labels: Bollywood, commentary, life, movie

I just want to say, for the record, that I did not miss posting yesterday--I blatantly skipped posting yesterday. Instead I wrote a couple of overdue e-mails, read a Nitpicker's Guide and watched part of a Bollywood movie. No, not the same Bollywood movie. Soon after I took Baghban back to the Library, I received word that Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham... was waiting on hold for me. Unlike Baghban, which stars Amitabh Bachchan as a father in conflict with his grown sons, Kabhi stars Amitabh Bachchan as a father in conflict with only one of his sons. At least I think it's only one. I'm only part way through the film, so maybe he starts squabbling with his other son as well. Even so, it's still only two sons compared to the four in Baghban.

In all seriousness, Kabhi is a cut above Baghban, though it still is a bit surreal to this American boy. I wonder if that's not part of what's behind this Bollywood kick of mine--trying to capture a bit of the confusion of living overseas, where you're never quite sure what's going on. Of course, it isn't quite the same. China didn't have subtitles. Or the big dance numbers.

Labels: blogging, Bollywood, life, movie

(A Hamburgerland restaurant review.)
(I know, it's incongruous to have a review of an Asian restaurant on a blog called Hamburgerland. Maybe one of these days, I'll get around to reviewing hamburgers. Yeah, one of these days...)

Ugh, ngóh báau lak. We just got back from dinner at The Orient Express, a new Asian restaurant in town. If you know Seattle, you might have driven past Andy's Diner on Fourth Avenue South. For those of you from other lands, Andy's was a classic greasy spoon diner located in a number of railroad cars. The food was so-so, but the ambiance was great--small tables squeezed into a passenger car, the walls festooned with railroad photos and paraphernalia. But Andy's Diner, alas, shut down a while back. The doors were locked shut and a temporary chain-link fence sprouted up around the cars. My family and I mourned it's loss and wondered if this south end landmark would go the way of the Twin Teepees restaurant of days past.

Well, one day, not so long ago, I drove past Andy's and saw that the railroad cars had been painted bright green and orange. I wondered if this was graffiti gone amok, or if it was the prelude to some sort of demolition process. (I can take a pessimistic view of life at times.) A week or two later, I discovered that it was quite the opposite. Someone had affixed Chinese characters onto the restaurant's sign. A day or two later, the English side of the sign went up--Orient Express. We were delighted that the place had found new life and curious as to what kind of place it would be. A take out joint? A buffet? Dim sum? We were hoping it would open up by my birthday, so we could we could fit a trip to the restaurant into our very limited dining budget. However, my natal day came and went before the grand opening (I pigged out at Red Robin instead) so it looked like we weren't going to check the joint out anytime soon. Shows how much we knew. After this busy weekend and all the overtime I put in, we figured a restaurant treat was in order.

So how was our dining experience? Quite good actually. We first encountered the restaurant's ambiance. The owners of the Orient Express really didn't make too much effort to remodel. It was basically Andy's Diner with new booths, a fish tank at the entrance and a shrine where Andy's cashier used to be. The train pictures are still hanging and the 1950's flatware still adorns the tables. The food, of course, is totally different. Orient Express' menu has both a Thai and Chinese section. We pretty much went Chinese, ordering pot stickers, Kung Pao chicken, Szechwan string beans, stir fried beef and noodles and a beef-onion-ginger dish. We also ordered a Thai appetizer--satay chicken skewers with peanut sauce. It was all delightful, almost as if we were back in Yunnan. (I even had a moment when I accidentally gobbled up a chunk of pepper with the seeds in it. Tears running down my cheek, I desperately shoveled rice into my mouth to try and ease the burning.)

The best surprise was at the end. We got our bill and discovered that we had come on the last day of Orient Express' grand opening promotion--20% off the bill. Even without the discount, the price was quite reasonable. Dinner would have cost our family of four around $50. We left with full tummies and two doggie bags. My only complaint was trying to eat such fare with Andy's big old forks. Those utensils were great on steak and potatoes, but next time I'm either going to ask for a spoon to eat Thai style or chopsticks to eat Chinese.

Labels: life, restaurant, review, Seattle, SouthSeattle

Yeah, I know, I missed a day. Hey, what do you expect? I mean I got in over two hours of overtime and then I had to rush home for dinner and then I had to rush off to a discussion about church politics with the opposition and then I had to rush home and have a discussion with my wife about the previous discussion and then I had to check my e-.... Oh. Wait. It's not past midnight yet. It sure feels a lot later. Never mind....

Labels: life

Ah, whatever shall I write? I'm currently at the Library, downloading radio programs for Noodles. I can't afford a DSL connection, but with an AirPort card and free WiFi at the Seattle Public Library, I don't have to. The Library is quite busy this cool and rainy afternoon. There were so many kids running about that I thought there must have been a class having a field trip or something. I'm wondering how we ever fit this many people in the old library building. Or has patronage at this branch really picked up?

Hmmm, it seems that my Mac or Firefox or whatever has an efficient method to help me monitor my downloads. I start the file downloading, then switch to this window and start typing. When the file has finished downloading, my cursor mysteriously exits the text field and my keystrokes go straight into the ether. Wunnerful.

Not much on the agenda for tonight. Last night I went to the InDesign users group meeting where they demonstrated all the new wonders in the CS4 applications. I was dutifully impressed, but the skeptic in me wondered how much RAM and processing power those bells and whistles sucked up. I guess I'll find out in about ten years when I'll be buying the computers and software that are new today.

Ah, finished with the shows from 2005. That should keep her busy for a couple of days. Think I'll post this sucker and maybe browse the stacks a bit.

Labels: computers, life

Looks like today's another short post day. We've got to take Bunnah to the Magnolia Community Center for her gymnastics class. (Yeah, I know Jefferson Park's program is much closer, but back when the child started gymnastics, J.P. wasn't offering them.) She gets to run and jump and tumble and swing and the rest of us take a stroll in a neighborhood we could never afford. Then it's back to the gym where we all grab our books and pretend not to be watching the child in action. Don't want her to get self conscious, ya know.

Labels: family, life

Okay, so I promised the tale of online ordering at Yoyodyne. Let me first explain the situation at our shop. There's two of us pre-press guys that make up the art department of our shop. John Silver is the lead operator because a) he's been there longer, b) he has a wider range of experience with computers, traditional lithography and print shops, and c) he cares a lot more about the job than I do. Most of the time I'm quite content to toil in his shadow, but from time to time I do feel a tinge of envy. I am the lesser employee when compared to him, but I'm not without my own skills and years of experience. There are times when I wish the powers that be would come and ask me to take on a project* rather than always run to him.

Be careful what you wish for, eh? A number of weeks ago, I started overhearing the bosses talking to John Silver about some web design project. Seems that John Emdall had bought into some online ordering service, MyOrderDesk, that one can have customized for one's own company. Or one's customers. Now, at Yoyodyne we always look for a cheaper solution--used equipment, older software, using all available manpower when needed. So rather than having the dudes at MOD design our site, they were asking John Silver to draw upon his computer expertise and create the skins we'd need for the order site. In addition to his other duties, of course. So, J.S. tries his hand at it and ran into a roadblock. He just couldn't get a handle on how to dig into the site and set up the things he needed. He tried to tell the powers that what they were asking for wasn't possible. They were telling him that it certainly was. (The MyOrderDesk salesmen told them so, after all.) I only overheard about 75% of these discussions, but for whatever reason I started to think that if I had the chance to take a stab at it, I could possibly break thorough where J.S. was getting hung up. After all, I've changed the fonts and colors on many of my Blogger templates.

Anyway, two weeks ago I got my chance. I had been asked if I had any web experience and I mentioned that I had done some basic html. So they asked me to take a stab at it. After doing some poking, I discovered that once again John Silver knew what he was talking about. The powers were envisioning a site that would seamlessly link to a customer's site, taking on all the design elements and delivering full functionality. Well, that was possible, but only if you buy a package for each customer. Our single site could be fully customized, but we'd have to pick which customer to flatter. To my credit, I did make a bit more headway into manipulating the site, but then again, I also had less daily crises to tend to. I reported my findings to the powers and after some consultation with the pros at My Order Desk, we all came up with a plan wherein we'll drop the MOD window into customized pages that will be hosted at our site. We'll pay the MOD folks to create our first page and then John Silver and I will start creating the versions for our variety of customers.

Of course, this is going to take a lot of work. In addition to making it look pretty, we have to set up the various forms and databases for each customer, as well as altering our current workflow to make use of the service. This is all unscheduled work, which means that the sales people will be screaming for it while the production manager will be screaming for the paying jobs. Ah, well. So far it's proving to be an intriguing challenge, as well as another item to add on the resume.
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*Yeah, I know. I'm the company FSC dude. I sent that ball into John Emdall's court and haven't heard about it in weeks. I've a feeling that'll be on the back burner until a customer starts inquiring about it again.

Labels: life, web, work

I was going to tell the tale of my newest job responsibilities, but my wife wants the computer. She's listening to talk radio shows which we downloaded onto the laptop. (It being our internet computer and all.) I would have written and posted earlier but I was taking a nap. And come to think of it, she was using the computer then, too.

Labels: family, life, marriage

Hmmm. If--I'm speaking hypothetically here--if I were actually posting every day in November, which, of course, is pretty far fetched, what would I write about today? Election Day delivered its usual mixed bag of results. The results of some races were welcome news, others were rather disappointing. So I didn't spend last night dancing in the streets or anything. (We did go dancing, but that was mainly because I want to go to the InDesign Users Group meeting next Tuesday.) Today was pretty uneventful as well. I did have a Deacons meeting at church, which in its own way was as unsettling as the election results that disappointed. I find myself feeling quite out of place at church these days. Not when we're actually "doing church". When it's time to worship, I feel just fine. It's when it comes time to socialize or do the various and sundry tasks of maintaining the organization that I get out of kilter. When did I get out of sync with the flock? Or was I only deluded when I thought I was fitting in before? Ah, well. 'Tis a mystery. One I can probably ignore until the next church function on Saturday morning.

Labels: church, life, relationships, whining

I just wanted to say that I've found this presidential campaign to be very disappointing. We've received a high number of political phone calls this week and all of them came when I wasn't around to talk on the phone. I sooooo wanted to tell the campaigners that I was voting for McCain--that I felt sorry for him that no one had called me to tell me to vote for him. But alas, I have been unable to pull that prank. It's very disappointing.

Labels: commentary, life, politics, silliness

I call my daughter a drama queen, but after yesterday, I have to think she comes by it naturally. Actually it started Tuesday night. Just before heading to bed, I discovered that I had an e-mail from Buster, my old boss at Wombatsch. It was very straightforward--we want to hire you now because were drowning in work. My first reaction was, "Crap. Why now?" You see, a number of weeks ago when I was facing my tenuous finances and inadequate salary, a mail like this would be a sign from God. I had decided that even though my current job seemed heaven sent, it was probably time to move on to something that paid better. Of course, after a few discussions with Noodles, that included the idea that I start moonlighting, we decided the best idea might be for her to start easing back into the workforce. So she's been applying and interviewing for a number of part time teaching positions. She's grown to like the idea and really wants to begin working on her second, er, third career. (Or is it fourth? Nah, she never used her first degree. Not professionally, anyway.)

So now this job offer turns up. We still could use the money, because for all of Noodles' efforts, she isn't pulling in any income yet. Work at Yoyodyne has been rather slow and boring, and going back to Wombatsch would mean more challenging work, even if I get hired as just another grunt in the catalog department. On the other hand, there is that commute out to Eastside. And it would probably mean a switch to second shift. Oh, yeah, and I dimly recall being quite dissatisfied with the place some three, four years ago. I figured I'd wrestle with all this overnight and give Buster a call on Wednesday afternoon. As an afterthought, I decided to ask Noodles if she had any thoughts on the matter. Surprisingly enough, she did.

While she liked the idea of a higher salary as much as I did, she was less tempted to have me make the change. A second shift job out on the Eastside essentially ties me to the car. That would tie her hands if and when she manages to find a teaching gig. Plus the whole reason for her embarking on the job search was to bring in extra income. If she starts bringing in money, that reduces my need to chase a higher salary. Noodles also cross-examined my boredom with Yoyodyne. Even as I explained my ennui, I realized that the excitement of a job change would be fleeting at best. (Overtime, however, springs eternal.)

So after a half hour or so of conversation, I headed to bed. Come the morn, my attraction to Wombatsch had pretty much vanished. My mind no longer whirled with pros and cons--rather my thoughts were awash in the dread of having to actually tell someone "no". Actually, I wasn't quite 100% on the side of refusal yet. I figured I should see what the day brought while the question simmered on the back burner. Give God some time to give me a divine revelation and all that. When I got to work I shot off a quick reply to Buster to tell him that I was thinking about it. When I later peeked at my personal e-mail, I saw that he had sent a quick, hopeful response. This caused the pot on my back burner to boil over and fill my brain with the aromas of anxiety. I ran through all sorts of scenarios, thinking of what excuses I could give and what kind of arguments I might have to fend off. Buster was quite explicit about the need at Wombatsch. What if he asked me to moonlight? I had to double check the employee manual to confirm that it was forbidden. I even had the (fleeting) idea that maybe he could contact my current boss-man, John Emdall, and set up some sort of sub-contractor situation where I could do Wombatsch work for a Yoyodyne paycheck. I so dearly wanted to help out! To offer some sort of hope or comfort as I so callously served my self interest and refused the job, after stringing poor Buster along for all these hours.

Eventually my shift ended and it was time to make the call. Oddly enough, my day was quite busy--including a job that gave my layout muscles a stretch. Was this the heavenly sign I sought? I doubt it, but I decided to turn Buster down anyway. When I reached home, I screwed in my courage... or is that screwed up? Whatever the metaphor, I made the stupid phone call. Part of me was hoping for a voice mail, but I was fully ready for a voice-to-voice conversation. Good thing, too, since Buster was at his desk and answering his phone. Following his example, I got straight to the point and told him I was turning him down. Buster said something along the lines of, "Oh, well, it didn't hurt to ask." Then he asked how things were going. I stammered out that things were okay. He made a joking reference to my fainting spell, and I recounted my only near encounter. He again asked how I was doing and I again couldn't say more than "okay". A sales pitch I was ready for; small talk threw me off guard. Buster then stated that I was always welcome to try to re-apply at Wombatsch and then got back to work. I hung up the phone relieved and feeling a bit foolish.

In retrospect, I think I should have known better. When it comes to the busy season at work, Buster's correspondence has always verged on hyperbole. Back when he was asking everyone to work "as much as they can stand", I'm sure he expected that many folks would only be able to stand an hour or two of overtime. Likewise when he said they needed me to come work, he knew it was a long shot. I, on the other hand, take his messages too darn seriously. Ah, well. It's nice to know that I'm wanted, even if folks can live without me just fine.

Labels: life, marital discussion, money, Wombatsch, work