I mentioned yesterday that I was creeped out by the Vision Forum catalog. Just too darned whitebread-Confederate for me. But I have to say, I have more respect for their product line than that of the Life Way store we shopped at yesterday. I walked into the store and was overwhelmed by the good ol' American materialism. Who would have thought that the Bible could inspire so much merchandise? I guess my problem isn't that there are Christian tchotkes out there--I did go in there to do some Christmas shopping, after all. It's just that I found so much of it to be lacking. Do we really need candy with little Bible messages on the wrapper? And then there were things that struck me as just plain wrong. the most egregious (this time around) were the "Almighty Heroes" action figures. Basically, these blasphemously named toys are guys from various Bible stories redesigned as carbon copy, Northern European superheroes. All of them feature bulging biceps, colorful costumes and a couple of accessories. And all of them, in my opinion, are poorly created. Take Daniel for example. Maybe Daniel worked out, maybe not. But I doubt if his administrative duties, as described in scripture, required him to be armed with a sword and spear. Which story of Daniel, exactly, are little Jewish and Christian boys supposed to be re-enacting with this toy? The one where Daniel brings along his weapons just in case he mis-interprets Nebuchadnezzar's dream? Or maybe when Belshazzar summons Daniel in the middle of his morning fencing lesson? I know, it must be when the angel closed the mouths of the pygmy lions in the lions' den so Daniel wouldn't have to dirty his spear. Sheesh! If you want your kid to play superheroes, then buy him some superhero dolls.

Um, I think my rant got a bit off track there. I think the point I wanted to make is that both the Vision Forum folks and the creators of various "Christian" merchandise try to sanctify secular things and ideals by tacking religion onto their "products". There's nothing wrong with strong families, protective fathers and beautiful girls. Nor are dolls, candles or coffee mugs inherently evil. They're all good gifts from God, gifts that He's given to Christians and non-Christians alike. Why do we need to try and make them "holier" than they really are?

Labels: commentary, rant, religion

I'm going to cheat and let someone else write a blog entry for me. Back in the halcyon days of my childhood, I often enjoyed reading Bible stories. As I got older, I "grew out" of them and was expected to read the actual Bible. (It took me a while to start enjoying that, but that's another story.) Finally, when I had kids of my own, I got to encounter Bible stories again. As I read them to my children, I discovered that all retellings are not the same. Some editing to the tale needs to be done, of course, to make them more understandable to children. Sometimes the author would put their own spin on the tale to flesh out the narrative or to draw a lesson out of the story. Sometimes these embellishments were enjoyable, sometimes they reeked to high heaven. (no pun intended)

Well, there are no Bible story books for grown-ups, but if Gila Weiss ever writes one, I will certainly get a copy to put on my shelf. Please enjoy her retelling of the story of Balaam and his verbose donkey. (And here's a link to the original, in case you want to see what liberties Ms. Weiss has taken with the text.)

Labels: humor, link, religion

Alas! and did my Savior bleed
And did my Sovereign die?
Would He devote that sacred head
For such a worm as I?
--Isaac Watts

Labels: religion

I spent the other evening playing catch up--reading the minutes from our church's council meetings for the past three years. I don't know what possessed me. Well, I do, actually. While we were overseas, we had heard about some friction between the pastor and some of the lay leaders of the group. Now that I've volunteered to be on a committee at church, I wanted to see if the minutes would shed any light upon the supposed controversies. They didn't, of course. In polite American society we can't just come out and say that so and so is bugging the heck out of me. It's just not done. So I'll guess I'll just have to live without knowing the gossip.

The fact that I've agreed to serve on a committee is another act of weirdness on my part. The plan is to survey some members of the congregation, send the surveys up the ecclesiastical hierarchy and get a dandy report as to how we compare to the profile of a healthy congregation. The problem is, I think the whole idea is foolish. We've had a number of surveys in the past ten years or so--all of them trying to find our "vision", to seek a direction for the congregation. The problem is, our direction is right in front of us, but we don't want to see it. Ol' Dry Bones church is headed towards the proverbial grave. Our numbers are dwindling along with our finances and we really can't function like we did back in our glory days. If we were rational about it all, our vision would be to efficiently close down the congregation. Our mission would be to hook up our remaining members with new church homes, dispose of our corporate property and make sure the pastor gets a nice severance package. That's what we should be meeting about, some would say.

The problem is, our faith gets in the way. We follow a God who works miracles, a God who uses the weak and insignificant to humble the mighty. Heck, every Sunday we declare that we believe in the resurrection of the dead. So if it looks like the congregation is dying, do we start making funeral arrangements? Heck, no. Instead we'll start talking about getting new stoves for the kitchen or repainting the Sunday School rooms. I wonder what the good Lord will say, when we're at the Pearly Gates. Will He say to us stubborn church members, "Well done, my good and faithful servants?" Or will he sigh and shake His head and welcome us in His infinite mercy? Beats me. So I suppose that's why I have a meeting this Sunday....

Labels: church, commentary, community, life, relationships, religion, whining