Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Will it go 'round in circles? 

Saturday, I'm flying; Tuesday, I'm dragging. We started reading the fundraising materials and... well, it's going to be an adjustment. How we're going to adjust, exactly, is still up in the air. This is one area in which Noodles and I are having different opinions, which of course makes dealing with our objections to the official fundraising procedures even more difficult.

I don't want to get into it too much. Well, part of me does, but I've tried to avoid spilling my guts here and I think that's twice as wise in this instance. Basically I'm torn between doing as I'm told and doing what I want to do. On one hand, I truly believe that any sort of apprentice or trainee needs to listen and obey. It's okay to ask questions or even offer suggestions, but when one is learning, one should follow the lead of one's teacher/mentor. On the other hand, asking casual acquaintances for money is so alien to my thinking that it twists my guts to think about. The question is, are my feelings something I need to grow out of or something to nurture?

Another aspect is the first chapter of a book they're giving us to read. It talks all about interdependence and how that's a good way to be--far superior to the independence advocated by modern American society. Problem is, Noodles and I are quite the independent cusses and our life experiences for the past decade or so have only strengthened that tendency. I truly believe there's room for both in God's creation, but again, is my independent streak truly right here, or is it just a cop out to avoid a difficult task? Lots of soul searching ahead. When I can find the time, that is....