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Friday, July 23, 2004

The answer was "no" 

Hiker died this morning, around 9:30 am. Sleep well, my friend. The world is a poorer place without you.
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I hoped that the doctor was mistaken. That there was nothing wrong.
But You said, "no."
I hoped that human strength and wisdom could beat back the invader. That renewed health and strength was a sign of victory.
But You said, "no."
I prayed for a miracle, either a spectacular or quiet defiance of dark expectations.
But You said, "no."
I hoped for a noble passing, from a body unmarred by chemotherapy or infection.
But You said, "no."
I hoped for a quiet, peaceful resignation. A loss borne without tears or that dread, gnawing emptiness.
But You said, "no."
I wanted an exaltant funeral, with strangers respectfully stopping their daily routines and thousands of voices raised in lament.
But You said, "no."
I cried out that I had no hope. That I couldn't bear the loss, couldn't face another day. That my tears would never end and that I would never see him again.
But You said, "no."